The First edition of Circle space.
If someone were to ask me, what the hardest thing in the world was, I would tell them that it was the courage to fully pay attention to what the other person I saying, I mean like total and complete absorption in the conversation. I believe that such a feat is seldom possible because it would mean to abandon ourselves for or while, or to be more specific the self the I. The I prevent us from realizing that our experience is not the definitive one and there are other experiences which we have not had which are equally worthy and relevant.
It is human tendency to add the experience of others to our own fund of knowledge and intellect, rather than to appreciate the experience for its singular value. When I hear of a rape, it translates to how I ought to keep myself safe, when I hear of my friends break up I realize how I can avoid making the same mistake and so on. This of course has its positive side, we learn via vicarious experience. However the I seems to be the predominant force in our life. Probably it may be a little cumbersome to eradicate it all together, but to know it, understand it and be aware of where it crops up is of essence. Maybe if we were to let ourselves introspect and think through it, we may realize that there is hardly an I and a them but a state of flow. I am ill equipped to describe this state having experienced it infrequently.
All I can say with my limited experience on this planet is that we are far too caught up in ourselves, our worries and problems and routine, it is always poor me or great me or handsome me or something of that nature.
When others talk, we seldom listen with empathy, Openness is fast evaporating. We do not wish to just let the person be, it is our duty to reform then, better them, and caution our impress our opinion on them. All of the following is in no way entirely negative. Nothing is entirely negative really.
However as Stephan Covey once said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Maybe if we listened with the intent of listening, what follows will be more natural and less biased.
We belong to the generation which praises outspokenness. Laurels are heaped on those who take a stand, are bold and daring.
They do deserve them rightly. However, in doing so, we as a society perversely tend to forget those who may not have outstanding opinions or what to share it with the world but just listening. This we are in the danger of not only loosing precious listeners, but in diluting the quality of what is spoken with every in a mad rush to speak up. This oftentimes results in utter garbage, uttered for the sake of being uttered.
Also on really listening, one can pick up what left unsaid with greater ease, Understanding that what is unsaid will always be greater than the spoken matter. An I’m fine combined with a twitch of the eye is significantly different from an I’m fine with an averted gaze.
Enough dear reader of the rants of a writer,
I would love to hear you thoughts in the comments!
This is a part of the new initiative by thehumblehumanists called Circlespace
Check the link here for more information,
Post independently on your side using the logo and #Circlespace.
Eager for your thoughts as always,